Archive for the Reflections Category

For Pa Pa

Posted in Reflections on 11/09/2014 by Jess

This is a poem I wrote years ago (1998 or 1999) in memory of my grandfather. For Christmas in 2006, I printed the poem and gave it to my little sister, my cousins and my grandmother as gifts. I didn’t mean to make everyone cry that year, but I did. They were tears of remembrance and of kindredness. He loved all of us and we loved him. We still do.


I loved his smile,
with or without his teeth,
And how he would chase us
from room to room
With them sparkling in his palm.
Each room
We filled with laughter;
His toothless grin
making us laugh harder.

I loved how he made the day
Last forever
And how he was willing to crawlpapasmile
on his hands and knees for hours
While we rode on his back
And fed him
Just “A Few” Invisible Oats.
Or how he healed us
with magical bacon bits
and a cardboard hospital bed
when we suffered from an
imaginary illness.
And tickle our feet with
His bristly salt and pepper hair.

I Loved Him.


My Truth

Posted in Reflections on 09/21/2013 by Jess


I know that I am not the kind of girl that people find beautiful.

I’m not an eye catcher or a head turner and I doubt that I could ever level anyone with my eyes or take someone’s breath away.

I don’t believe that I am particularly interesting.  My life is somewhat boring.

What I do know is that my heart is as big as the ocean and it is a shame that it is being wasted.  I’m funny and easy going and not too hard to please.  I am loyal and creative.  I love with all of me.

I love laughing and practical jokes; art and music. Animals soothe me.  I love words and poetry and good stories. 

I believe that all children should have enchanted childhoods filled with magic and adventure and wonder and love.

Despite our short comings, I believe in the good in all of us.  Even if it is a small good, it can still push out the darkness. If we let it.

Fire Rainbow

Posted in Reflections on 10/09/2010 by Jess

I had completely forgotten about seeing this until I was scanning through some of my photo’s tonight.   About three years ago I was at a convention in Savannah and was killing time surfing the net in between sessions.  I’m not exactly sure how I got around to reading about circumhorizontal arcs (fire rainbows).  Sometimes my internet surfing is like stream of conscious writing, especially since I have ADD and I have no idea what so ever got me around to that, but regardless, I found it interesting and was reading away.

Fire rainbows are the rarest optical phenomenon (or halo) that occur when sunlight is refracted through ice crystals in cirrus clouds.  The rainbow appears within the cloud giving it a firey/feather appearance.  The day after my impromptu education on circumhorizontal arcs I happened to see this on the drive home.  Now, I’m not too sure how rare they are seen in this area I know that there are only a certain number of hours per year that they sun reaches the necessary angle in the sky (usually in the summer I think) but regardless, I saw one in September 2007 on the way home from Savannah.  I just found it neat that I had just read about them the day before.

This fire rainbow is by no means as large or impressive as some of the other photo’s I’ve seen, but its pretty neat anyway.  Its my fire rainbow.  To me it was just a reminder of how everything that happens to us in life has a purpose.  We don’t always have to know the reasons or answers at the time that things happen.  But, I find that just knowing that everything that happens to us is moving us along to where we are meant to be in life brings me peace.

The Little Things

Posted in Reflections on 09/22/2010 by Jess

Isn’t it funny how little things can remind you of someone.  The other day I stopped by McDonald’s on the way home from work and ordered a hot fudge sundae.  It reminded me of my friend Jordan and how when he lived in the apartment down stairs from mine, we would make midnight McDonald’s runs or how he would just come up to my place when he needed to talk sometimes.  Anytime I see anything be-speckeld, I think of Jeff and his crazy, speckled fraternity paddle.  It was befitting of his random, spontaneous personality.  Songs remind me of friends too.  If I hear anything Weezer, I automatically think of my friend Holly.  We rocked out to Weezer’s blue album in middle and high school.  She loved Green Day too and her Dookie T-shirt.  Dave Matthews and Birkenstocks remind me of my Big Bro Rob.  Riding around in his Green Jeep, Dave Matthews playing almost constantly, his black and white fan air freshners spinning away.  Slamming on breaks or almost running red lights make me think of the Spaz (Andy).  We did that a lot which often resulted in him screaming at the top of his lungs and taking on an uncharacteristic southern accent.  I think Rachel experienced this with us a couple of times.  Walking in the rain reminds me of James and the time that he helped me search for my keys on north campus in the midst of a monsoon.  A roll of toilet paper sitting on top of the holder, makes me think of Miguel and the time he accidentally knocked the whole roll in the toilet and he and Irby had to fish it out with a coat hanger.  Cake icing makes me think of Phil and the time I smushed it all over his face.

There are so many moments and memories that I could go on forever really.  If you aren’t mentioned above don’t think that there aren’t little things that make me think of you.  I guarantee you that there is something that brings your face to mind and the warm feelings of friendship and love that I will forever have for you.  If you want to know just ask.

I say all of this to say that everyone that comes into our lives becomes a part of us.  They are always with us, no matter where we go or what we do in life.  We are forever connected regardless of whether we talk everyday, years apart, or never gain.  You all mean the world to me and I love you.

I Feel It In the Air

Posted in Reflections on 09/13/2010 by Jess

The coming of Fall always excites me.  Autumn is without a doubt my absolute favorite season.  If there was some way for me to live in an eternal Fall, that’s where I would be.  The wind, the changing leaves, the warm amber glow that the sun casts on everything in the afternoon, all exude an aura of nostalgia.

I’ve often wondered why I feel such a connection with Fall.  Perhaps its that I’m a Fall baby (remember remember the 5th of November!).  I’d like to think that while still in my mother’s womb, that it was this time of year that the soul within me first began to stir, began to feel alive.  Perhaps that is why I long so for the first breath of mellow Autumn air as the sultry summer begins to fade.

While it is true that so much of Fall is about winding down and approaching an end, there is life in it still.  Fall brings back so many memories of lazy afternoons spent reading or watching football with all the windows open, hamburgers on the grill, a soft autumn breeze drifting in.  The hustle and bustle of the holiday season begins and children come alive with hope and excitement.

To me Fall is simply about being.  It speaks of comfort and connection.  It is a season ripe with completion and reflection.

“Yellow, mellow, ripened days,
Sheltered in a golden coating;
O’er the dreamy, listless haze,
White and dainty cloudlets floating;
Winking at the blushing trees,
And the sombre, furrowed fallow;
Smiling at the airy ease,
Of the southward flying swallow
Sweet and smiling are thy ways,
Beauteous, golden Autumn days.”

Will Carleton
Autumn Days